The Window of Tolerance is a term coined by Daniel Siegel (1999), describing a state of optimal arousal for daily and social functioning. As a model, it supports us in understanding the movements of our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS), and how we might build regulatory strategies to maintain optimal arousal. The ‘window’ represents the space where we are able to engage socially safely. When we are outside of the ‘window,’ and are either hyper- or hypo-aroused (more on this below), we may find it difficult to not only remain calm, but also remain connected and in relationship. Our aspiration is to slowly increase our ‘window,’ as well as build strategies to move in and out of the window with more agency and choice. We have the opportunity to do this through therapy, where we can actively build awareness and find new strategies in relationship with a therapist.

Here is the Window of Tolerance in a graph that can make it easier to understand its features:

Here are some signposts, and signals of ‘Optimal Regulation’ (ie. being in the window), as well as hyper- and hypo-arousal.

“Optimal Regulation”

“Optimal regulation” refers to a state of balance and stability in which a person is able to manage their emotions effectively and respond to stressors in a healthy and adaptive way. In this state, a person is able to identify and express emotions in a healthy way, engage in productive activities, form healthy relationships, and navigate stressors effectively without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. Achieving optimal regulation requires a range of skills and strategies, including emotional regulation, stress management, self-care, and healthy relationship building.

Signs of Optimal Regulation include:

• Feeling calm and centred

• Having a positive outlook and sense of hope

• Feeling connected to others and able to form healthy relationships

• Being able to regulate one's emotions in response to stressors

• Being able to identify and express emotions in a healthy way

• Being able to tolerate and manage distress without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down

• Being able to engage in self-care and healthy coping strategies

• Having a sense of self-efficacy and confidence in one's ability to handle challenges

• Being able to engage in productive activities and pursue one's goals

• Having a sense of meaning and purpose in life

“Hypo-Arousal”

“Hypo-arousal” is a state in which the nervous system is underactive, leading to feelings of disconnection, numbness, and detachment. In this state, a person may feel emotionally flat or dissociated, and may have difficulty connecting with others or engaging in everyday activities. Hypo-arousal can be triggered by a variety of factors, including trauma, chronic stress, or a lack of stimulation or engagement in daily life.

Signs of Hypo-Arousal (Feeling Disconnected or Numb) include:

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from others

• Feeling drowsy, sluggish, or lethargic

• Having a flat affect or lack of emotional expression

• Feeling emotionally detached or dissociated

• Having difficulty focusing or concentrating

• Feeling physically disconnected or out of touch with one's body

• Feeling detached from one's surroundings or environment

• Feeling a sense of hopelessness or helplessness

• Having difficulty with motivation or feeling apathetic

• Engaging in self-harm or risky behaviors as a way to feel more alive

“Hyper-Arousal”

Hyper-arousal is a state in which the nervous system is in overdrive, responding to perceived threats with intense feelings of anxiety, fear, and stress. When a person is in a state of hyper-arousal, their heart rate and breathing rate may increase, their muscles may tense up, and they may feel a sense of urgency or agitation. Some common triggers for hyper-arousal include traumatic events, chronic stress, or the anticipation of a stressful event. If left unmanaged, hyper-arousal can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion, burnout, and a range of mental health problems.

Signs of Hyper-Arousal (Feeling Overwhelmed or Stressed) include:

• Feeling anxious, tense, or nervous

• Feeling irritable or easily agitated

• Having difficulty sleeping or staying asleep

• Having racing thoughts or difficulty focusing

• Feeling on edge or hyper-vigilant

• Experiencing physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, or a racing heartbeat

• Feeling a sense of dread or impending doom

• Engaging in compulsive or impulsive behaviors as a way to cope with stress

• Avoiding situations or people that trigger feelings of stress or anxiety

How is it for you to understand a little more about the Window of Tolerance and nervous system regulation?

With these perspectives and practices, we have the possibility to reclaim agency in our own bodies, and therefore in our world.

If you would like to deepen your understanding of the nervous system, more specifically, your nervous system, and find new ways to move in and out of ‘optimal arousal,’ you can book a discovery call to work directly with a therapist. Otherwise, join our email list below, and you’ll be notified when we announce our upcoming events and programs.